Brokenhearted... Hungry... Encouraged

I have found myself feeling so blah... But today I felt hungry... I felt hungry for God's word, for some encouragement.

My day starts out with me feeling empty... At church I start in the nursery because that is what we were to be doing there today. It works out that I can end up part of the congregation. The sermon title... "The first 5 minutes after death" Of course I am intrigued right? I hear a great reminder of the magnificence of God and Heaven. Just what I needed...

Later, we meet with our small group, who are some of the people that can keep me more grounded than ever. We have a great talk based on feeling passion for God and different ways we can use our gifts to be vessils for him. I felt so encouraged to dive back in to becoming closer to God. Because when I stand face to face with him for the first time in those first 5 minutes after I die, I do not want to feel ashamed. I want him to say Kelli, job well done! I want to strive to be the best I can be, for Him... for my family... for myself.

Just a few minutes ago, I opened up The One Year Book of HOPE that one of girlfriends gave to me many months back. I have not been ready for this book. I knew I wasn't ready for it the minute I read the introduction. My heart was not open to the things this book could offer. I sat down in the bathroom for some odd reason (fully clothed- toilet seat cover down) and opened up to Week 1- Brokenhearted. This describes me and my feelings right now so well. Here is a few lines from the opening:

" Brokenhearted. Crushed in Spirit. Does that describe the state of your soul? Are you wondering if you will ever feel good again, ever feel hope again? Are you desperate to find a salve to sooth the searing emotional or physical pain that has invaded your existence?..."

This weeks passage- The Lord is close to the broken hearted; he rescues those who are crushed in spirit.- Psalm 34:18

I can't believe how well this defines me at this moment! I turn the page to the first devotion for this week and I immediately notice a little colorful rainbow that is arching across the page from some reflextion in the bathroom, which is really such an odd place for me to be reading this book, right? This instantly brings a smile to my face and I am reminded that He is right there, guiding me through this day and directly to this page, and I notice and realize this because my mom has brought this little rainbow to my attention so that I do not forget about her sitting there right next to Him in Heaven. Sounds alittle corny with the rainbow you are thinking? Not to me and my family. Every rainbow seen is a direct link between us and her. Here is a summary of the first devotion...

"We need to hold tightly to the truth that God 'heals the brokenhearted, binding up their wounds'- Psalm 147:3. We need to contront our very real fears, feelings, and thoughts with scriptural truth, digging deep in God's Word to figure out who he is and what his purposes are in the world and in our lives. Truth soothes our fears, changes our feelings, and shapes our thoughts. The truth is what we need most when the hurt is the deepest."

I woke up this morning feeling Brokenhearted, I became Hungry, and I end tonight Encouraged...